Warning to caregivers: Expect a scavenger hunt

Before my father was diagnosed with dementia, I had a 30,000-foot awareness of my father and my mother’s financial health. I knew which banks they had accounts with, what kinds of investment accounts they held, and where their car insurance policy was kept. I had a rough idea of where they kept some of these documents. 

We set up our wills and power of attorney documents with the same lawyer in Ottawa, so I knew where to access the documents, and even where in their house their copies were (our lawyer suggested a hack whereby we keep our legal documents zip-locked in the back of the freezer, where it would be protected from fire/water damage). When the realization set in that I would have to take a much more active role in managing both my parents’ financial and health-related affairs, I realized I would now need to access not just some of their tangible documents but all of it. 

My parents were relatively organized in keeping track of their financial documents, meaning they were very good in combining a variety of documents and wrapping them in elastic bands and keeping them stored in a few rooms. Again, this is what I was aware of. As I started going down the rabbit hole, I realized that was not the case as I would randomly stumble upon documents from companies and for services I never knew they were using. 

It’s hard enough to keep track of my own and my family’s budget; now I had to manage another set of books. Unless you love accounting and finance like I do, I can confidently say, based on my own investment coaching practice, that this exercise does not make my clients’ top 500 list of things they would prefer to be doing. If you’re up for scavenger hunts, and putting a financial puzzle together, then this could be somewhat more tolerable. 

If you feel a sense of dread, by the way, that’s totally normal.

Where to start? Look for relationships

Before embarking on a search for invoices, annual statements, legal documents, and random illegible letters that seem important, it is important that you identify the people, companies, and institutions you will have to interact with who are either gatekeepers of information or references that could lead you to somebody else who can help you. Establishing those relationships will be crucial. The list is endless and will feel overwhelming. The best way to approach this is to break down these gatekeepers into logical circles or networks. These contact points can be broken into some groups involved with money that flows into your parents’ bank and investment accounts and money that goes out to pay living costs.  

The first group of people will revolve around your parents’ social and family circle. This group may already be managing some activities or have some awareness of your parents’ activities. These include the parents (of course), your siblings, their own relatives, family friends, and their overall social circle. If you have siblings, it is very possible they may already be involved themselves. 

The next group would be the gatekeepers of legal and professional documents. This would comprise accountants who may be preparing tax documents or financial reports for a business, as well as lawyers who would have prepared the will, trusts, and power of attorney documents. As we discussed in the previous article on power of attorney, securing these documents is critical when starting to reach out to various stakeholders. I can’t emphasize enough how many doors I was able unlock quickly and how much time and aggravation this saved me when managing my parents’ affairs. 

The group after that would be government institutions at the municipal, provincial, and federal levels related to social programs and benefits that your parents may already be accessing or may need to access in the future. Most of these contact points are now mostly accessible online or over the phone, which will require an immense amount of time and patience as wait times could climb into the hours. These organizations will need to be tapped into for a variety of documents like income tax returns, tax receipts, property tax, building permits, social programs, government identification documents (passport, health card, citizenship card, handicap parking permits, driver’s license), and pension documents. Renewing some of these documents may be a common action item with one or both parents. 

We now reach the group where we get into the financial management circles. This group consists of representatives from your parents’ bank(s), insurance companies, financial advisors, and investment brokers. Some of these contact points you may be able to meet personally. If your parents are receiving a pension or annuity from a private company, then you need to establish contact points there, as well. 

Making sure the bills get paid

Next we need to identify contact points on the expense side of their financial ledger. Below is good starting point of types of costs your parents may be paying on a regular basis:

• Life insurance

• Home/auto/property insurance

• Medical insurance

• Long-term care insurance

• Communication (mobile phone/landline/internet)

• Entertainment (cable, streaming services, subscriptions, memberships)

• Rental agreements

• Utilities (electricity, heating, water)

• Landlord/property management companies (rent)

Your elderly relatives’ bank is the best place to begin because their bank account and credit card statements will itemize the payments they make regularly. Though some seniors are relatively tech savvy, it is highly likely that your parents will still be opting to receive their bills, invoices, and statements in hard copy. Both my parents were insistent on receiving paper copies. They did make an honest effort to access their accounts online, but at the end, old habits brought them back to paper. Don’t be surprised also to find receipts and statements going back 20 years when we only need to keep receipts for up to seven years. In that case, be prepared to invest in a shredder; just throwing out documents raises the risk of fraud and identity theft.

Stepping in as the first point of contact

The final group of people in your parents’ lives would be health-related contacts comprising of their family doctor, dentist and specific specialists (pharmacist, eye care, physiotherapist, and other medical specialists). Besides keeping tabs on their health, be prepared to coordinate a range of appointments and filling prescriptions.

From my personal experience, all these organizations and gatekeepers will likely request some kind documentation to verify your identity and relationship to your parents, ranging from legal documents like the POAs to just a driver’s license or passport. Once you establish your contact points, the most important task is to get your name added to your parents’ respective accounts and files. That way, you start the process of documents and notifications flowing to you.

It’s a never-ending process and if you look at it all as one big mass it will be overwhelming. Just when you think you’ve got everything, something else pops up. I thought I had all my parents’ bank accounts itemized, only to find out that as my father’s dementia progressed that he had walked into a bank and opened three bank accounts that had minimal cash in each of them (how the bank didn’t flag any of this is still beyond me). It feels like you’re running endlessly on a hamster wheel.

I learned that the documents are secondary. The best way to have some control of the whole management process is to engage and build relationships with the various stakeholders that will help you better manage and deal with what you know… and what you don’t know.

Read more about retirement planning:

• 3 signs you need to take control of your parents’ finances
• Caring for a parent? Get a power of attorney
• In planning for retirement, worry about longevity rather than dying young
• CPP payment dates in 2026, and more to know about the Canada Pension Plan

The post Warning to caregivers: Expect a scavenger hunt appeared first on MoneySense.